It’s been a while…

Been crazy busy the past few… weeks?
Putting up a few new projects, but the most exciting right now is the spanking new, spankingly delicious South Florida Dubs.
Geared to the Volkswagen and Audi enthusiasts in South Florida, this site offers all kinds of resources to the VAG community, including forums and videos. Lots of fun for everyone.
But it’s taking up a lot of my time. Eating it up like a ravenous creature. Crunch crunch, yum yum.
Jo decided I wasn’t worth it. That’s the problem with kids these days: no patience! No matter. I’ve got too much on my plate as it is. I’m not into the idea of anything more serious than “Hi.”
I’m so behind on the photo gallery, it’s not even funny. I have like, 15 galleries to put up. I’ll do it, I promise! I’m not liking the “new” style gallery, so I think I’m going to put ‘er down and stick with Coppermine. It’s easy to use, and people seem to like it more.

It’s only funny ‘cuz it’s true…

A termite walks into a bar and asks “Is the bar tender here?”
Holy crap that’s funny. I haven’t laughed out loud involuntarily like that in a long time. Special thanks to someone from my deepest, darkest past for that shining pearl of pure smile. You know who you are, biatch, and I still hate your fucking guts.

New design, bitches!

All new design, all new loveliness. Now, granted, it ain’t much of a design, per se… it’s pretty simple, straightforward, and doesn’t have a lot of frills and whatever… but it’s fast-loading, to the point, and most importantly, I think it looks pretty good.
The next trick is going to be to make it a dance a little. PHP will make that happen, I think. We’ll see. For now, though, I want to hear what you guys think of the design, so please leave comments. Positive, negative, whatever. Just remember: I know where you farkin’ people live.

And then there were two…

I’m figuring out how the heck to make Textpattern my little bitch, and in the process I thought to myself “Hey, why don’t I try a new photo gallery script?”
God knows I don’t have enough headaches to deal with, I just love to add more. It’s What I Do.
So here goes. Now there’s two links to photo galleries. Two different packages. Granted, the look-and-feel is different because of the whole “I’m too farkin’ lazy to actually make a design for my own farkin’ site” thing. What I’m looking for here, basically, is feedback on the interface. How does the new gallery feel compared to the old?
Leave comments, or just plain email me
Your help with this is greatly appreciated. I’m just trying to make my corner of the web as comfortable as possible for all you people who care enough to visit. Freaks.
Let me know what you think…


So we finally make it out to Adrian’s famous place in the Plaza de Colon, a restaurant that I think may actually be called “Plaza de Colon”, or something so unbelievably similar that all I can think to call it is that.
And the burgers really were special. All things considered, a mighty satisfying burger. Nothing extravagant, nothing that would set off fireworks in your mouth or anything, but certainly above-average and, considering where I am, definitely spectacular. But wait, there’s more…
We got to play a sort of “trivial pursuit” while eating. Talk about a sweet idea. You get each table to write down the answers to a question that is called out to the restaurant, and the winner at the end of 10 rounds gets a free round of drinks or something equally cool.
I know what you’re thinking: they already do that with those cheesy electronic boards at places like BW3 and all that. Yeah, yeah, but it’s not the same. There’s really something about 5 or 6 tables competing while some dude with a british accent reads out the question and you’re eating a hamburger in Spain and chugging down beers that can’t be matched by some electronic device. It’s the old digital-versus-analog thing all over again.
Whatever the case, it was good fun. I like Spanish pubs.
A few bars and a few drinks later, Adrian fulfills the second of his crazy suggestions. We go to play bingo. Yep. Bingo.
Oh, but wait! I’m getting slightly ahead of myself. We went back to the castle and I bouldered that jive sucka with my Galileos on, got some sweet pics (look ‘em up), and even fell on my ass from about 15 feet up (it hurt. A lot.)
Then we went to play bingo. Like any form of gambling, I can see why it’s addicting. I’ll freely admit, though, that it’s not a bad way to spend an hour while drinking and winding down the evening. Maybe not every night, but once in a while, kinda cool.
Tell you what, though. Adrian must get really bored here during the winters to come up with that kind of creative solution to an evening’s events… hah.

Scaling castle walls…

I itch to climb. Especially when I don’t get a chance to do it regularly. The last couple of weeks have played hell with me, my strength is all over the place, my balance almost shot… it’s a bad scene.
So what do I do? I start climbing stuff, of course! I’m not picky – I’ll climb damned near anything at this point. Like, for example, castle walls…

That picture is of my happy ass sitting 15 feet up a castle wall in El Puerto de Santa Maria. The locals refer to it as “El Castillito” because it’s not a very big castle, per se. But it’s a farkin’ castle. More pics will be uploaded to the gallery later this evening.
I’m still in the process of breaking in the new Galileos, but they’re super comfortable compared to the Anasazis and stickier’n flies on shit. Or something.
I don’t think the buildering will make me stronger, but it’ll definitely prevent me from getting weaker. And that’s A Good Thing.
Hurricanes suck · Oct 20, 05:03 PM by Jose Sierra
There’s not much that sucks more than a hurricane, to be sure. Although, in terms of natural disasters, there’s worse. An earthquake, for example, creates all kinds of damage and strikes pretty much from out of nowhere. By the time the geeks that figured out that there’s an earthquake about to happen get off their asses and get with the program, skyscrapers in Mexico City are coming down and a giant wave is enveloping southeast Asia.
Tornados are fairly devastating, and they’re sorta random. I mean, they recognize the conditions for a tornado, but who knows if one will actually touch down. Of course, when it does touch down, that’s when the devastation begins. I’m not sure whether it’s as bad overall as a good hurricane.
Tidal waves are rough, but I still think that those things are detectable. With all the undersea sensors deployed by the navies of the world, you’d figure they’d be able to tell if a gi-normous wave is barreling across the sea. Just seems like they’d be capable of it, that’s all. Devastating? Sure. But hurricanes have storm-surges too.
Yeah. Hurricanes suck. But the parties are fun. I’m going to miss this one, unfortunately – I’ll be in Spain. Not too worried about getting out of here, but who knows if I’ll be able to get back in time. Hey, a few extra days in Spain? Noooo problem.

Gosh I want a Powerbook…

Tooling through the internet always makes interesting stuff bubble up to the surface. Like Apple’s new offerings…
A Quad G5. How farking cool is that? I don’t think I can push the dualie, much less four of them suckas. It’s drool-worthy, for sure. Having a machine like that would so inspire me towards more video projects.
Meanwhile, the new Powerbooks are looking mighty fly. Compared to my little Powerbook 667, they’re farkin rocketships. Great graphics cards, tons of memory, big honkin’ processors. And now with more battery life. Psh. I don’t even know what to do. The best part is that they’re not even exorbitantly priced (for a Mac, of course)… but they’re still a couple of kilobucks. It’s so unbelievably within range…

Spain in mere days. A hurricane spools up to Category 5 status, pull a U-turn and head straight for us. I’ve never seen anything like it. It’s like we flicked it off as it drove on by, and it decided it was gonna get pissed and come on back to see what’s up. Oh, shit, son! But there’s nowhere to go. And people are just shrugging their shoulders at the prospect.

I’m just worried for the dogs, which’ll be in a kennel while we’re all carousing in España. Friends are on high alert to rescue ‘em if there’s rescuing to be done. Bah, it’s just terrible timing overall.

We partied with Keith Richards…

Saturday night was intense. Everyone who was there knows what I mean.

First we went to see Brazilian Girls… it’s a funky kind of deep house music, check it out if you get a chance. Totally worth it, and a great show. The lead singer is freakin’ hot. Check out the pictures of the Brazilian Girls show.

Nat, Jolenny, and Travis crammed themselves into my little Audi TT, which is unbelievably impressive, and we headed south to Pawnshop. Milled around there for a while looking for the gang, and ran into Short Bus (John), Andrew, and Mike, who led me to the rest of the group (which included a bunch of hot chicks I didn’t know). I grabbed my own hot grrlz and brought ‘em in, and then things got hectic.

Harry let me know that they had just met Keith Richards, which was a little odd, but when I turned around, there was a guy squatting in the corner that looked awfully, awfully familiar. Craziest thing, he really looked like Keith Richards. So I decided to verify his identity for myself and went in. Pictures ensued.

I did mention the tall hot chicks, didn’t I? They were hot, and hard to ignore. Keith noticed ‘em too, and started mumbling at them, which seemed alright. Then he decides we’re going somewhere… else. Through the double doors, out to a patio with a half-pipe, and into another warehouse nextdoor.

Welcome to the VIP lounge, bitches!

Then it got really hectic. I’m rambling, go ahead and check out all the pictures by clicking here. Make sure you leave comments and rate the photos. It’s important, I swear.

An awesome night that couldn’t have gone any better for everyone. Someone told me it was Andrew’s birthday party, so Happy Birthday man. Can’t get much more pimpalicious than that shit right there, son!

All in all, the only thing left to say: We partied with Keith Richards. Hah.

I’m going to España…!

So I’m going to Spain to watch my cousin get married. Talk about your extreme weekend trips, I’m literally going to Spain for a day and a half.

Hey, wanna go to Madrid for lunch? Why not?

I’m excited! I get to see all my beautiful friends and raise the dead. Of course, I’m gonna be a jet-lagged zombie that wants nothing more than death, but I’ll try and offset that by sleeping on the plane or whatever. Oh, it’s gonna be icky. Who cares. My family and friends are worth it.

20 foot pythons eating 12 foot ‘gators?

So I’m looking at a photo my boss sends me of a gi-normous snake that apparently tried very hard to eat a gi-normous alligator before the alligator apprently woke up and tore the snake a new asshole (literally). Both creatures ended up dead, and what a mess.

I’m looking at this picture, thinking to myself “Damn, I will never set foot in the Amazon. That’s some seriously messed up shit.”

I’m watching the 11 o’clock news that night, and I see the same photo come up. I watch, transfixed, as the news anchor tries to convince me that this party occurred not in the Amazon, land of enormous prehistoric creatures, nor even in Africa, where big shit is simply par for the course. No, this apparently happened in the Everglades. The Florida Everglades.

As in, 10 miles west of where I live.

That’s kind of creepy. I go fishing there. And I don’t really watch for 20 foot freakin’ pythons. Guess I should start. According to this report, there’s a crazy infestation of enormous pythons in the Everglades thanks to those irresponsible fucking pet owners that think it’s oh-so-cool to own a pet snake (a pet snake? a pet fucking snake? Come on. What’s it gonna do, give you a big hug while you sleep?) but then they realize what a ridiculous notion it is to keep a cold-blooded reptilian creature for a pet, or (more likely) they realize that the amazingly badassed albino burmese python they bought grows to ridiculous sizes and you have to feed it small children or live chinchillas or fucking goats or something. Then they run out to their backyard, which happens to be a protected habitat, and dump said giant snake into the swamp. There it can continue to live and eat and grow unabated because it has no natural predators, and it can upset the delicate balance of an already endangered ecosystem.

Sounds like a great idea.

These are the same hosers that buy SUV’s for no practical reason beyond the fact that they’re trying to compensate for a less-than-average stature and feel insecure about it. Nobody has to haul 16 grown adults and enough groceries to feed them all for a month. Nobody. Nobody can say that a snake (or any reptile, for that matter) is a gratifying pet. Anybody who says otherwise is simply saying it to be contradictory. It doesn’t recognize you or feel gratitude for your tender ministrations. It will kill you as readily as look at you, especially if you’re small and inoffensive. Like a dog. Or a small child. Or a 12 foot alligator.