Gotta love the South.

It’s only funny ‘cuz it’s true. A collection of short stories about the South… 

Alabama 
 A group of Alabama friends went deer hunting and paired off in
twos for the day. That night, one of the hunters returned alone,
staggering under the weight of an eight-point buck. 
“Where’s Henry?” the others asked.
“Henry had a stroke of some kind. He’s a couple of miles back up the
trail,” the successful hunter replied.
“You left Henry laying out there and carried the deer back?” they
inquired.
“A tough call,” nodded the hunter. “But I figured no one is going to
steal Henry!” 
Georgia 
The owner of a golf course in Georgia was confused about
paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some
mathematical help.
He called her into his office and said, “You graduated from the
University of Georgia and I need some help. If I were to
give you $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?” 
The secretary thought a moment, and then replied, “Everything but my
earrings.” 
Louisiana 
A senior at Louisiana was overheard saying ….. “When the end
of the world comes, I hope to be in Louisiana.”
When asked why, he replied, “I’d rather be in Louisiana
because everything happens in Louisiana 20 years later than in
the rest of the civilized world.” 
Mississippi 
The young man from Mississippi came running into the store and
said to his buddy, “Bubba , somebody just stole your pickup truck from
the parking lot!”
Bubba replied, “Did you see who it was?”
The young man answered, “I couldn’t tell, but I got the license number.” 
North Carolina 
A man in North Carolina had a flat tire, pulled off on the
side of the road, and proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of
the car and one behind it. Then he got back in the car to wait.
A passerby studied the scene as he drove by and was so curious he
turned around and went back. He asked the fellow what the problem was.
The man replied, “I have a flat tire.”
The passerby asked, “But what’s with the flowers?”
The man responded, “When you break down they tell you to put flares in
the front and flares in the back. I never did understand it neither.” 
Tennessee
A Tennessee State Trooper pulled over a pickup on
I-65. The trooper asked, “Got any ID?” The driver replied, “Bout whut?” 
 
Texas 
A Texas Sheriff pulled up next to a guy unloading garbage out of his
pick-up and into a ditch. The Sheriff asked, “Why are you dumping garbage in the ditch? Don’t
you see that sign right there over your head.”
“Yep”, he replied. “That’s whah ah’m dumpin it heah, cause it says: ‘Fine
For Dumping Garbage’.” 
You can say what you want about the South, but you never hear of
anyone retiring and moving North.

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