Fed forgot the tent stakes…

Fed forgot the freakin’ tent stakes. Can you believe it?
So we get to the airport, and Marky looks around, puts a confused look on his face, and asks The Fed:
“Yo. Where the fuck are the tent stakes?”
To which The Fed answers: “Oh shit.” Looks around, and says “I thought you had ’em!”
Mark starts dropping bombs on The Fed, and it’s a slam-fest for the silly noob. The prospect of being homeless (or at least, shelterless) at the Red being a very negative one (and at the point very likely) causes Marky to release a string of curses at The Fed that I simply can’t type. Mostly because I can’t remember the whole thing, but also because he used words I just couldn’t identify.
So we fly.
We get to Atlanta, and we’re OAM (On A Mission). We figure that the ATL airport is so darned big, we ought to be able to buy a tent there, right? It’s ATL for chrissakes, they camp in Georgia! In fact, they pitch tents in their apartments, it’s so popular. There’s not one, but *two* REI’s in the Atlanta area, so this makes sense to us at the time. However, it takes us nearly two hours to come up with the idea that we might be able to get to an REI and back to the airport in time for the flight, and by that time the REI is simply… closed. Mission… not accomplished.
We fly into Lexington, KY, and the Mission is still open. Marky has spent the last hour smacking The Fed over the head with a floppy wet noodle (don’t ask) and he’s still no closer to having shelter for the next week.
But wait, a light at the end of the tunnel! Someone (not gonna say who – ahem) has the bright idea that perhaps… perhaps… Wal-Mart will have inexpensive shelters (tents might be too generous a term for it). As luck would have it, there are two Wal-Marts on the way to the Red. We hop in the rented ride, tool off in the direction of the closer Wal-Mart, and cross those fingers.
Not only does Wal-Mart have cheap tents ($30 for a tent? Hell yeah!) but they also have garden gnomes. And little white picket fences. Perfect for a semi-permanent tent placement! Ahhhh, the fun we’ll have. Anyway, mission accomplished! Marky is temporarily assuaged as shelter is produced, but that doesn’t stop us from heckling the silly noob for the next hour until we get there. And no, The Fed will never live it down.

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