January 2007 Archives

Metalocalypse.

Holy crap. The most metal show ever. For the love of all that is Metal and otherwise Unholy, how freakin' hilarious is this show?

Brutal. Watch it. Midnight, Cartoon Network. Metal... so metal.

Ropes course training is awesome, fun, informative, and... fun. Learning all the excellent techniques, so next time I find myself 50 feet up on a high-wire with some friends, and one of them decides to freak the fuck out and decide they simply can't continue to walk on the cable because plummeting to their death isn't their idea of a good time, I can totally lower them to safety. The safety of the rancor pit baby! What, you didn't really expect us to be walking a high-wire over something lame, like mattresses or something?

Foolish mortals. You're simply not metal enough. Cartoon Network. Metalocalypse. It will solve your metal deficiency.

Want to climb better? Get you a pair of La Sportivas. Want to climb better, and be more metal? Scoop up some Vipers. The Mantras: excellent shoes. Sticky, sensitive, soft, stretchy - like socks with rubber slapped on 'em. The Vipers: all that, better support throughout the shoe, and a precision heel that is freakin' ridiculous. And some crazy kind of air bubble in the heel so when you take that fall (if you happen to fall because you're not climbing metal enough) you land and it's not even an issue. You land, you look around, you brush off your shoulder cuz it ain't no thang, and continue brutalizing the route. It's so metal. You can smear, and you can edge.

Wait, both of these in one shoe? That's right. You can smear, and you can edge. And not just a little bit of each, no sir. It's "you can smear like your shoes are made of molten rubbery goodness, and you can edge like you have knives sewn in with human guts strapped to the edge of your shoes." Did I mention their metal-ness?

So yeah, the Vipers are sweet shoes. Will everyone like them? Nope. The Katana seems to be a more lovable, cuddly shoe that will satisfy the needs of the masses. The Viper is a more specialized shoe for the discriminating climber. Or a very metal climber.

Yaaaaaaar!!!!

Oh, and on a much, much happier note... Volkswagen is re-airing the "Unpimp ze auto" commercials. Oh my God, I want to pee myself. They're just that funny. Watch Cartoon Network. Catch Metalocalypse. See hilarious ads. Become a complete vegetable.

Hey, it's a living.

Now that I'm (relatively speaking) unemployed, or rather self-employed, I've been watching a lot more TV. Getting cable helps that, of course...

So in some ways it does occasionally distract, but it's nice to take a break once in a while and unplug the ol' brain. But what has cable television really done for me, per se?

The A-Team, for one. Ripley's Believe it Or Not. World's Wildest Police Chases. The list isn't terribly long, but it seems like these are some seriously amusing bits of daytime television fun. What else? That guy who sells home generators. He must be paying millions for that much airtime. No lie. Guy's company is on like, all the freakin' time. The ad's really bad though - bad enough that I don't even remember what the name of his company is... just that I really really really need a backup generator. Must be a Florida thing. There's also the DiTech commercials. Those are always amusing. After a while, it's always the same commercials. Allstate. They have that black guy with the super soothing voice. "That's Allstate's stand. What's your's?"

I don't understand how people can spend their whole freakin' lives just staring at a television. It makes my head hurt. I do understand how watching television that much can make you dumber - it's mind numbing. Literally, the word 'numbing' is pretty accurate.

Gainsville Rock Gym (GRG) is well-known as the best bouldering in Florida... with an incredible group of climbers and route-setters. This year's Boulderpalooza was incredible.